ex corde

Well, for some reason, recently things in my lungs took a turn for the worse - I began to experience dry-heaving, headaches and wheezing whenever there was a coughing spell...not fun, I tell you -  and I was forced to make another doctor's appointment. This time, though, it was a little more successful. The doctor still talked to her computer instead of to me but gave me two prescriptions and declared that I have something called cough-variant asthma. This is basically a never-ending cough that is triggered by things like dust (which I have an allergy to) and cold air. That's it. Just coughing for coughing's sake, I guess. Anyway, the combined forces of these medicines seem to be working, though they say the recovery can take from 4 to 6 weeks. I have seen a marked improvement in my ability to be in moving air without coughing. Praise God!

But speaking of God, this fun little episode in my medical life seems to parallel what's going on spiritually as well. I just can't seem to get enough air. I know it's there and I've known for a while in the back of my mind what's going on but nothing seems to stop whatever is sucking away at all the oxygen in my life. I feel as if I'm in a world where oxygen is scarce and only being dealt out to those who could truly do some good with it.

Don't get me wrong, breaths of fresh air do come but they seem to come fewer and farther in-between each time. Oh, how sweet they are when they do show up but before I know it I'm plunging back into stifling world where I have to fight to do anything. And I appear to be one of few with this strange breathing problem that just not quite like regular, normal asthma.